Saturday, April 24, 2010

National Infertility Awareness Week


Today starts NIAW.  I will be dedicating my blog to this cause for the next 7 days in hopes of raising awareness.  Infertility is a heart- and gut-wrenching, emotionally draining, physical pain-causing (if undergoing certain treatments), horrible, life-sucking condition.  My personal battle was relatively short, but only because I wasn't in a position to "try" any sooner than I did.  If I had started trying years earlier, it would have been a much longer struggle.  In other words, I was infertile but just didn't know it yet (because I wasn't trying), although I did have suspicions because of other medical conditions and my age.

The following is an excerpt from the RESOLVE website (http://www.resolve.org/) :

Infertility is a major life crisis for 1 in 8 couples. For these women and men fighting the disease of infertility, the infertility experience involves many hidden losses for the individuals, their loved ones and society as a whole, including:


  • Loss of the pregnancy and the birth experience;
  • Loss of a genetic legacy and loss of future contributing citizens to the next generation;
  • Loss of the parenting experience;
  • Loss of a grandparent relationship;
  • Low feelings of self-worth;
  • Loss of stability in family and personal relationships;
  • Loss of work productivity; and
  • Loss of a sense of spirituality and sense of hope for the future.
Numbers 2 and 3 are pretty much a given, but the first one was HUGE for me, and the reason why it bugs the heck out of me when people say things like, "you can always adopt".  Adoption is a WONDERFUL option for some and a totally admirable and noble thing to do.  I am absolutely pro-adoption.  BUT, it does nothing to satisfy that insatiable desire (for some, anyway) to feel life growing inside you.  To see that little peanut on the ultrasound machine and to watch that peanut evolve into a jumping bean and then an alien and eventually a tiny actual baby.  And to feel that baby kick you.  Or hiccup.  And watch your belly grow.  While adoption is a great alternative, for some the pain of losing the experience of pregnancy and birth is heartbreaking.

2 comments:

Christina said...

I found your blog from Multiples and More, new follower. Looking forward to reading more about your family!
We also struggled with infertility. It took us 6 years total, finally got pregnant on our first IVF cycle. Twin girls born 3-19-08. :)

Kristen said...

YOu are right ADOPTION CAN BE A WONDERFUL THING!! I for one am thrilled I had this option and nothing in the world could change my love for my son! HE told me at age 3 he was glad my tummy was broken and when I asked why he said because I wouldn't be his mommy. With tears in my eyes I told him I too was glad my tummy was broken. With all that sad do have I and do I morn the loss of my fertility? Absolutely 100 % do I morn the fact that I didn't get to carry my baby, watch that peanut grow, feel him kick and then get the chance to go through labor and deliver my precious gift of life. HOwever in no take that comment to mean that I don't love my because I absolutely do and I would lay my life down for him in a heart beat and I would never give him up and I thank God everyday for him but I also morn the chance to do what I call normal for a healthy female.