Friday, September 6, 2013

Mixed Emotions

The girls start Kindergarten in 3 days.  I'm mostly very excited and looking forward to all the free time I will have to do projects, errands, or just read and watch The View.  But I'm also really sad because it really is the end of an era, a time in my life that has been the absolute most precious and special time I will ever have.  My girls'--my only children--'s baby/toddler/preschool years.  I have treasured these last 5 and a half years of being their stay-at-home mommy and primary caregiver, and while I will obviously continue to be their mommy and primary caregiver, it will soon be very different.

When I look back over the last 5 and half years, I remember all of the fun stuff we did that we never could have done (except for a little bit on weekends and vacations) if I hadn't been able to be home with them.  Playing at all kinds of different parks whenever we felt like it, mom's group play dates, story time at the library, going for walks and bike/scooter rides around the neighborhood, going to the zoo, museums, or just playing at home together.  I have SO treasured all of that, and it's already been different in the last year or so with them playing with friends so much more and then going to preschool, but now that they are starting "real" school, it really is the end of that chapter in our lives.

Five years ago the girls were 6 months old and our days pretty much consisted of feedings and naps.  I was still in a bit of a daze, not recognizing my life at all (having gone from a single girl who used to go out to nice restaurants, lots of movies, the theater/ballet/symphony/concerts, shop and buy what I wanted to a married new mom of twins living on one income).  This day seemed SO far away, but here it is.

I posted some months ago how the girls were always asking me to play with them and I want to but always have so much to do first.  Not that I never play with them-I manage to work it in but not as much as I'd like.  Now in the last few days I've found myself craving playtime with them, probably because I'm feeling all sentimental and wanting to hold on to these last "early years" moments.  But they are almost always playing with one friend or another, or several, and we've hardly had any mommy time lately.  Although this morning we did go to Starbucks before a play date (I got my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season!  Woo-hoo!), and later this afternoon we're going to go get back-to-school haircuts and a frozen yogurt.


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